i want to be done with all of this. all the self hate and loathing. the guilt. the pain. i want to love myself.
i seem like a happy person, honestly i do. i love to smile, to laugh, to have fun, to break rules, to stay up all night, to be crazy— to live life to the fullest with a grin on my face. people tell me im one of the happiest people theyve ever seen. that theyve never seen be unhappy. which i mean is great i guess. but nobody know the pain ive gone through these past couple years. the stuggles ive overcome and am still facing. nobody knows what is like to have all these troubles. yes they may have one or two of them but nobody, and i mean nobody has gone through all of these shitty circumstances at the same time. i sound like a complaining bitch, but honestly this is the only place i can complain. but i guess ill continue to fake a smile, fake the confidence, because i just have to remember—-somebody always has it worse than me.